Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: From the insane mind that brought you Know Your Stars Winx Club and KNow Your Stars Naruto comes Know Your Stars Avatar. Basically I mess with the characters of Avatar. 3rd victim finally added: Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation!
1. 1st Victim: Fire Lord Ozai

**Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender**

**Summary: From the same insane mind that brought you Know Your Stars Winx Club and Know Your Stars Naruto comes Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender. I will be spoofing characters as I see fit and enjoying it. This will be AU and very OOC for a lot of characters. Don't flame me because you have been warned! Suggestions for future characters appreciated.**

**Dedication: Anyone who wants to read review point stare and ask questions.**

**Disclaimer: You will learn humility and humiliation will be your teacher! **

**First Victim: Fire Lord Ozai- He had it coming**

The room had been set up and made with fire proof materials. A chair, which had been made of fireproof fabric approved by the state of California (1), had been placed under a glaring spotlight. Finally in another hidden area which has also been fireproofed a young woman sits figuring out how to operate the controls to find her first victim. Finally she finds a button and the show begins.

Meanwhile somewhere in the palace of Fire Lord Ozai the aforementioned fire lord was walking through the gardens and setting things on fire (2) when he spotted a shed with the door slightly ajar. Being paranoid and fearing espionage Ozai decided to investigate and found the shed surprisingly large and furnished with a comfortable looking chair situated under a bright light.

Since Ozai was tired from walking around the gardens setting things on fire he decided to sit in the chair.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars Fire Lord Ozai!" Shouted a strange voice.

Ozai started to growl. "Who the hell are you and what do you think you're doing trespassing in my palace?"

The voice ignored the angry fire Lord. "Fire Lord Ozai, he keeps himself in the shadows because he's fugly."

"What?! What the hell do you mean by fugly?"

"Fuckin' ugly." The voice grinned even though you couldn't see her. "Hey, if you guys can merge animals (3) I can merge words. Fire lord Ozai, he's so ugly that he banished his son for being prettier than he is."

"No, I banished Zuko because he disrupted a war meeting and I don't like him." Ozai corrected.

"Because he's prettier than you."

"No, he showed disrespect for his country."

"_And_ he's prettier than you. Fire Lord Ozai, he was jealous of Zuko's looks and that's why he used firebending on him."

"No, I did it to teach Zuko a lesson. Now can we get off of that topic?"

The voice shrugs, just imagine that she does, okay? "Fine, Fire Lord Ozai, he smells like a platypus bear."

"WHAT? I demand you take that back this instant!"

"And he looks like one too!"

"I do not!"

"Whatever. Fire Lord Ozai who is way uglier than a platypus bear, the only reason he loves Azula more than Zuko is because he _created_ Azula." (4)

Steam began to spew from the fire lord's ears. "Are you saying that Zuko isn't my son?"

"No, I'm saying that…." The voice paused and thought of what she was going to say. The whole idea sounded icky. "You know what? Forget that. Like it or not you have two kids."

"But is Zuko…."

"Fire Lord Ozai who smells like a platypus bear and probably has the brain of one too his mommy liked Iroh best." The voice interrupted.

"No she didn't!" Ozai shouted angrily leaping from the chair as he began trying to ignite things.

"Yes she did. And that's why you decided to take Iroh's place because you want people to like you."

"That's not true!" Ozai yelled as he grew angrier. The room just wasn't catching fire like it should. "And if I ever find out who you are I'll kill you!"

"Go cry to your science experiment daughter." The voice shot back trying not to shake. Yeah, the room was fireproof, but she sure as hell wasn't.

Fed up with things that were apparently flame retardant Ozai stormed out of the room.

"And now you know Fire Lord Ozai the guy whose son is prettier than him!"

**_Experiment Complete_ **

**Okay, so was that good or utter crap? Because I had nothing on Ozai. If I find stuff I can always edit later. So please read and review. Suggestions for things to say and new characters are appreciated. Just remember you can't flame me about characters being OOC because I already said this was very OOC.**

**1.) Apparently since things tend to frequently catch fire in California that state has to approve fire proof fabric for everything! I think.**

**2.) It's OOC and AU people, you will live with whatever crap I decide to put in before the Know Your Stars part.**

**3.) Please don't tell me I'm the only one who thinks that the animals from Avatar resemble science experiments.**

**4.) What like no one has thought of that idea before? I was thinking that maybe Ozai was like Naraku from InuYasha.**


	2. 2nd Victim: Princess Azula

**Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender**

**Note: I was going to do Zuko, but I couldn't think of anything good. So this is an Azula chapter. Please people I need ideas for these characters I'll give you credit.**

**Dedication: My four wonderful reviewers.**

**Disclaimer: I suggest that you stop worrying about that outfit which has already decided to embarrass you and worry about me who is still mulling it over. **

**Second Victim: Princess Psychopath…. I Mean Princess Azula **

Azula was in a port city in the Earth Kingdom trying desperately to find her traitor brother or the Avatar so she could go home. The Fire Nation princess was beginning to have some serious doubts about having brought Ty Lee along and some serious regrets that she had not considered bringing some plum sake to loosen Mai up.

After searching for about an hour Azula came across a shed with an open door, being her father's daughter the sadistic girl decided to see what was inside. Much to her surprise Azula found a room with a large comfortable chair and decided to sit down and have a rest. But karma was about to give that girl exactly what she deserved.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars princess Azula of the fire nation!" A voice shouted from no where causing Azula to jump.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Azula demanded.

The voice of course ignored Azula's demand and continued. "Princess Azula, she has a secret crush on Aang."

"What! I most certainly do not have a crush on that immature little Avatar." Azula scoffed.

"So, that little shrine to Aang with the five hundred dollars worth of incense and the life-sized sculpture are just for show?" The voice asks trying to sound innocent.

"How dare you! I mean… that's Ty Lee's stuff."

"Uh huh. Princess Azula, she is only trying to capture Aang so she can force him to marry her!"

"That's just absurd. I want to capture the Avatar so I can embarrass Zuzu even more that he already has been."

"Right." The voice says in disbelief

"It's true!"

"Whatever. Princess Azula, who has a massive crush on Aang and is planning on marrying him, if she ever catches Aang, she'll beg Ozai not to kill him."

"You're an idiot do you know that? And when I find you I'm going to firebend you into charcoal." Azula shouts angrily.

"Yeah, yeah. Princess Azula, who has an unhealthy obsession with the Avatar, the reason she is so pissy is because she has an abnormally sized forehead!"

"I'm going to annihilate you! My forehead is not abnormally sized!" Azula shouts defensively. "My forehead is cute!"

"Princess Azula, she is in therapy with Haruno Sakura so she can learn to deal with her gigantic forehead."

Azula starts trying to fire up so she can use her lightening bending on the voice. "I don't need therapy!"

"Uh, yeah you do! You're a damn sociopath!"

"Am not!" Azula screams as she shoots a fireball in the direction of the voice.

"Azula the sociopath with an obsession with Aang. She is convinced that Aang would like her more if her forehead was smaller."

"I do not! I don't even like the brat and stop saying crap about my forehead or I'll kill you!"

"Azula the psychopathic princess, she is jealous of Zuko because he's prettier than she is." The voice offered falling back on an old favorite.

"Now that's just a gross exaggeration. I am much prettier than Zuzu! I mean have you seen that scar?"

"Yes, Princess Azula, she is extremely happy that their father attacked Zuko so her magic mirror would stop saying that Zuko was the fairest in the land!"

"I don't have a magic mirror and I've always been prettier than Zuzu!" Azula yelled.

"Okay Azula who likes to pretend her mirror can talk. The real reason she hates Zuko is because Aang likes him better just like her mom did."

"So what my dad likes me better."

"Yeah, that's just because you're his science project." The voice snapped back.

Azula tried lightening bending but found that she was having the same problem as her father.

"Azula the nut job with the Aang obsession and the superiority complex, she rents out her forehead for businesses to advertise to make extra money."

"I DO NO SUCH THING!" Azula shouted. The firebending prodigy then tried unsuccessfully to set fire to the chair and left in a rather agitated state.

"And now you know Princess Psycho… I mean princess Azula, the firebending sadist with the super sized forehead!"

_**I finished wee!**_

**Questions, comments, offers of psychiatric help? Please press the bluish purplish button and tell me what you think. Also suggestions for who to do next and what to do to them are greatly appreciated.**


	3. 3rd Victim: Sokka

**Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender**

**Note: Sokka got some votes! So Sokka now has a chapter, that boy is about to lose boomerang privileges. **

**Dedication: My wonderful reviewers who gave me some ideas and that stupid flamer who made me realize I can write and annoy people at the same time.**

**Disclaimer: Caves with chairs in them...random voices...being accused of liking Toph and Ty Lee _that_ way...I think I've got Midnight Sun Madness. I'm going home to where stuff makes sense. **

**Third Victim: Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe**

Sokka was out trying to hunt, big emphasis on the _trying_. He was hot and tired and had been up since daybreak trying to catch some meat. Basically what you have here is a very grumpy, hungry Sokka so you can imagine his relief when he stumbled upon a cave. A very cool and inviting cave with a nice comfy chair inside. Being the tired, hungry, curious guy that he is Sokka didn't ask questions just went in and sat in the chair. This would soon be a decision that Sokka would regret, just like the time he drank cactus juice and the other time when he tried buzzard wasp 'honey'.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars, Sokka of the southern water tribe!" the voice shouts causing Sokka to topple to the floor.

"Who… who are you?" Sokka gasped trying to right himself back on the chair.

"Nunya. Nunya business (1). Sokka of the southern water tribe he is on PETA's most wanted list for cruelty to animals."

"Hey! When have I ever been cruel to animals?" Sokka demanded angrily.

"What about that time you hit Momo with a water whip?"

"That was Katara. I'm not a water bender I'm a warrior."

The voice snorts, "You… a warrior? Right warrior of what the pyrotechnic squirrel army?"

"No, of the water tribe!" Sokka shouts his voice echoing off the cave walls.

"Sokka the suckiest water bender ever, he is under the illusion that he is the leader of a pyrotechnic squirrel army."

"But I already said that I'm _not_ a water bender! And I don't have a squirrel army. Pyrotechnic or otherwise."

"Yeah, if I was as crappy of a waterbender as you are I wouldn't admit to it either."

"But I'm…."

"Sokka! He's going to try and use his instincts to lead a pyrotechnic squirrel army against the Fire Nation." The voice interrupted loudly.

"But I already said that I…."

"Sokka, he's a sneaky four timing jerk." (2) The voice announced grinning.

"Four timing? What the? How the hell am I four timing? And with who?"

"Suki, Yue, Toph and Ty Lee." The voice explained. "Sokka he is a slutty, slutty ho bag."

"But I haven't done _anything_ with anyone! And I don't even like Toph or Ty Lee that way!" Sokka protested.

"Sokka the slutty ho bag who can't waterbend properly. He trusted his instincts and that's why he fell for the circus freak!" (3) The voice cackled

"But… I don't even know what a slutty ho bag is!" Sokka shouted jumping from his chair ready to chuck his boomerang in the direction of the voice.

"Sokka, he's a complete idiot."

"Just because I don't know what you meant by calling me a slutty ho bag doesn't mean I'm an idiot."

"What about that time that you decided to lick that goop off the cave walls that time you got stuck in the desert?" the voice counters laughing.

"That wasn't stupidity, that was curiosity." Sokka argued.

"Whatever you say." You can just picture the voice rolling her eyes. "Sokka the stupid, slutty, untalented waterbender. He wants to quit eating meat and become a vegan(4) like Aang."

"What? Now why the hell would I go and do a stupid thing like that?" Sokka demanded angrily.

"Because you're an incompetent hunter along with being an incompetent waterbender and your instincts told you that you should become a vegan." The voice replied smugly.

"Okay! That's it!" Sokka began to shout angrily, as he jumped around waving his arms above his head. "You can say that I'm four timing Suki, and you can say that I have a pyrotechnic squirrel army! But when you imply that I'm a lousy hunter and am going to give up eating _meat_, well that's where I draw the line!" And with that Sokka bolted from the cave.

"And now you know Sokka, the lousy hunter from the southern water tribe who can't waterbend worth crap and is four timing most of the girls on the show." The voice paused to catch her breath. Then she began to plot her next attack.

_**I'm going to have angry Sokka fan girls after me aren't I?**_

**Well, I'm glad that's finally finished. Please read and review. Suggestions greatly appreciated- I'll give credit.**

**1.) Borrowing a quote from The Blind Bandit**

**2.) Suggested by Avatarrox1234. I just added the jerk part.**

**3.) Thanks to Angel for some clarification on how this chapter should go.**

**4.) An extreme form of vegetarianism where people don't eat any meat or animal by-products including eggs and dairy. Needless to say, that's not something Sokka would do.**


	4. 4th Victim: Prince Zuko

**Know Your Stars Avatar the Last Airbender**

**Dedication:**** Anyone who's reading this. Really thanks a lot. Sorry for the delay in updating**

**Disclaimer:****My pride. My dignity. My sense of self worth. I lost it all when I walked into that damn room and I don't think I'll ever get it back.**

**Fourth Victim: Prince Zuko- It just had to be done**

Prince Zuko was walking through the woods setting fire to things at random when he stumbled upon a small cottage. Being the nosey guy he is Zuko waltzed right in to the cottage and sat down in a large comfortable chair, which happened to be the only piece of furniture in the otherwise bare room. This of course was a big mistake because as soon as Zuko placed nice round bottom to chair cushion the torment began.

"Know your stars! Know your stars! Know your stars, prince Zuko of the Fire Nation!" The voice exclaims, startling the young fire nation prince.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Zuko demanded angrily.

"You'll just have to sit still and find out." The voice replied smugly. "Prince Zuko, the reason that his hair grows so fast is because he uses miracle grow on it every day."

"What the hell are you talking about? I do _not_ use anything on my hair!" Zuko shouted.

"Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, he doesn't wash his hair."

"Hey! I do wash my hair!"

"But you just said that you don't use anything in your hair." The voice pointed out. "Zuko, who doesn't wash his hair, he sleeps with a cute fluffy pink bunny named Fu Fu."

"You leave Fu Fu out of this! He's been through a lot lately!" Zuko shouted angrily.

"Bloody Hell, I thought I was making that up!" The voice gasped falling off her chair in shock. "That's just disturbing."

"So what if I have a stuffed bunny? You don't hear me saying things about your security blanket."

"That's my daughter's." The voice snapped.

"Sure it is."

"Look buddy, this is _my_ show. _I'm_ the one saying the embarrassing stuff." The voice growled in a warning tone. "You just sit there and take it."

"Yeah right."

"Prince Zuko, he's has a secret phobia of turtle seals."

"Well you just pulled that out of your ass didn't you?"

"Zuko, he has a terrible potty mouth and _that's_ why Fire Lord Ozai banished him and Katara won't love him." The voice declared.

"What the hell? What have you been smoking?"

"Prince Zuko the potty mouth, he's going to end up with Mae because Katara doesn't want to be with a potty mouth like him."

"What the… Mae?! Why would I want to be with that dark freaky weirdo?" Zuko demanded.

"Prince Zuko. He has an obsession with Mae, he even has a shrine to her built in his new ship."

"That's not true!"

"It will be once I post these pictures on the Internet." The voice sing songed.

"If you do I'll see you personally…. Wait, what's the Internet?" Prince Zuko asked confused.

"It's this thing that enables you to talk to people anywhere."

"We don't have that here."

"You poor thing. I wish I felt sorry for you, but we're off topic."

"Yeah, I feel bad about that but what can I do?"

The voice grinned evilly. "Prince Zuko, he wants to abandon his quest for the avatar and move to Las Vegas to become a Wayne Newton impersonator!"

After this remark Zuko was more than a little creeped out. Not that he knew who Wayne Newton was or had heard about Las Vegas. But the thought of having to give up looking for the Avatar scared him. So the banished prince high tailed it out of the cottage and didn't stop running until he was back in the tea shop with his Uncle.

Meanwhile back in her secret room, the voice pulled out a note book and penned in another line. "Disembodied voice three, Avatar cast zero."

_**I finished so can I have a cookie?**_

**Okay I'm sorry for the delay in updating, but I've been working on my Winx club stuff. Please review and leave suggestions. Oh and don't kill me. Killing is bad reviewing is good.**


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